Greetings,
We are back with the next episode, with a rhythm that has shifted from bi-weekly to monthly. We decided on this to create more space for our experiments and for building methodology. And it is wonderful to be with you!
In this episode, Polina invites us to flow with bracing. A response familiar to all of us. She is wondering how bracing relates to a sense of belonging, and what recurring bracing in the presence of seemingly like-minded people might reveal.
As always, we are met by paradoxes and surprises, leading us to the nature of belonging that may actually involve some pulsating between bracing into alertness and softening into relaxation.
Join us in this exploration.
Some things that have been said:
Irina:
“When I feel recognized, everything begins to flourish. My energy begins to sparkle. I open up like a flower.”
“There could be the general umbrella sense of safety, but that doesn’t mean that there are no moments of bracing, even under the umbrella of belonging.”
“Belonging creates the sense of coherence. I’m coherent here, the environment, the group is coherent to me, I’m coherent to the group.”
“This expression of aggression is not necessarily about survival. It’s exactly about the creativity of life.”
Yulya
“Am I allowed my shape? That is the question at the center of it. And for my shifting shape, the other person has to also be shifting shape.”
“The cycles of contraction and expansion, they flow rather than brace. There is this wave.”
“Something inside the word safety doesn’t agree with me. It now reminds me of this safe where something is locked and it’s impossible to penetrate.”
“Intermittent bracing is actually part of the human condition. No matter who you are with, there will inevitably be moments of bracing because it’s just called being alive.”
Polina
“There are spaces where nothing overtly bad is happening but my system still feels like it can’t fully soften.”
“My face goes into a mask so that others cannot tell that I am really tense or scared or really vigilant. You will not read what’s happening. No one will see what’s happening.”
“When she said ‘this is not a safe container,’ strangely, I actually felt a sense of relaxation. It felt more honest and coherent. My nervous system was able to trust that directness more than reassurance.”
“Bracing sometimes even happens when it’s something exciting or there’s curiosity. My system is registering it as a potential change and it’s unsure of what resources are going to be required.”
In Flow,
Irina, Polina and Yulia
We cherish your presence, and joining us in flowing.
These conversations are open explorations, that become richer with time and participation of others. We’d love to hear if anything touched you.
📍Chapters
00:00 — Intro
01:15 — Welcome: What Is Bracing?
05:26 — Mapping Bracing in the Body
24:19 — What Does Safety Feel Like?
29:51 — What Allows Relaxation Around Others?
43:57 — Seagulls Mirroring Collective Bracing
47:08 — Does Belonging Need Safety?
01:04:58 — Aggression and the Creativity of Life
01:13:22 — Fishing for Safety
01:18:13 — Coherence vs Safety
01:22:48 — Relationships of Constant Bracing
01:26:46 — Chronic Bracing vs Being Alive
01:28:12 — What Is Normal?
01:34:01 — Coherence of Belonging
01:35:31 — Psychology vs Experience
01:38:30 — Closing Reflections
01:52:09 — Outro
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💌 Resources used under Creative Commons license:
Music “Echolocation” by airtone, source: CcMixter
